Death changes us. When we lose someone it can't help but re-frame our perspective and cause us to pause and consider what is really important in life. I am reminded of this by the recent passing of a beautiful lady with whom I used to work. We were not what would be considered close and had mostly lost touch since I left that job, which in itself raises feelings of regret and guilt, but she made a difference in my life. Kate was one of those unforgettable people who made you better just by being around her. She had a rare kindness and gentle wisdom and grace about her, and her smile and laughter brightened a room. She was one of those who made going to work more of a pleasure and less of a chore. Her passing leaves a void in so many hearts.
This sad loss made me think about gratitude and why we struggle with expressing it. I never told Kate that she mattered to me; I never told her how much she brightened my work life: I never told her that I appreciated her kindness. Now I can't.
Like many who have been faced with their own mortality by a life-threatening health crisis, I am well aware of the "wake up" that such events cause us. In the three years since having a heart attack I have done much soul-searching, and what I have learned is that Life is about the people, not the stuff. We form relationships with everyone we encounter on our journey. Some of these encounters last longer and give us the opportunity to create stronger bonds, but with every person we meet we are given the chance to make a difference. Which brings me back to gratitude and wondering why our society struggles to give and accept thanks. Is it such a bad thing to share love? Is the fear of being rejected so great that we can't even try? Wouldn't our all our lives be better if we could express our appreciation more freely? I've learned that we never know when our time here is up and we need to be thankful for each breath we take and every new day we see. Make the most of it! Everyone deserves to know that they have an impact on others' lives and that they matter. Life it short; don't wait, make excuses, or worry that you will be ridiculed. Stop, take a breath, and be grateful. If someone makes your life a little brighter, tell them; if someone shows you some kindness, tell them you appreciate it; if you love someone, tell them. And, if you are on the receiving end of such gratitude, be gracious...and then pay it forward!
Life is short: embrace it and make it count. It is the hearts that we touch on the way, and those that touch ours, that make our journey worthwhile.
